Speaker / Gateway

Go home and do this today… get a banana, peel it, eat it and taste it. Next wash your mouth and after a while have another banana, but this time with your nose pinched, so you can’t breathe,” was the uncharacteristic note on which our esteemed guest speaker, R. Gopalakrishnan, started his address! And as he went on to explain the significance of this peculiar request, it became increasingly clear as to why he was regarded as a leading author with four bestsellers, as also a sought-after inspirational speaker and corporate advisor to some of India’s biggest business houses. Commanding a global audience, his expertise covers both – instructional and inspirational speaking. He has developed his own unique course titled ‘LWNT’ (Learning What’s Not Taught) that he teaches at various business schools. He went on to share his wisdom with the Rotarians on the concepts of ‘success and reality’, based on his latest book titled ‘Six Lenses’ which would be released on November 20th.

I’m honored to address the RCB again! I wish to take this opportunity to highlight the concepts of success and reality. From the example about the banana we see that the taste is different when you taste the same banana when your nose is pinched and when it is not. Similarly the tie that I’m wearing is blue to most of you. But is it really blue in reality or does that color also change under different circumstances, just like the taste of the banana changed? So then, what is reality?

What is the real taste of the banana and the real color of the tie? Apparently there are 3 or more cones in the eye which determine the color you see. The truth is that everything points out to the fact that there is no ‘reality’ per se around you, it’s all our perception of reality. And perceptions are based on our senses. Our senses pick up information that the brain converts into what we perceive as reality. So no two people looking at the same thing can have the same view of it! In a family, if four children were simultaneously raised under the same circumstances, they will all have completely different memories of the same events they experienced growing up! So the question is, what is Reality?

Reality is the construction of every single person of the 7 billion human beings in this world, and your reality is different from mine. And yet we all lead our lives thinking that there is a common reality. And we go through life’s experiences – happiness, success, envy, jealousy, etc, thinking there is a reality. But there isn’t! Doctors say that the body contains 3-4kgs of bacteria! We carry more bacteria in our body than human genome. We are more bacteria than human! How’s that for a reality check? There is enough evidence, other than what spiritual leaders tell us, about all things being ‘Maya’ or illusion, further confirming that that there is only the perception of reality. So then, if there is no reality and the perception of reality causes all the strife in your mind, how do we cope with life? What is fulfillment? What is happiness? What is success? What is the measure of success?

I want to leave you with a few thoughts on this… the first being that there is only the perception of reality and your perception of reality is unique and distinctive to yourself. Your reality is therefore your perception constructed by your brain. No one really knows how the brain works – not even neuro-scientists! So, what is the purpose of life? Why do we do all the things we do? A metaphorical approach would be to understand that the world is like a big jigsaw puzzle with slots, and each one of us has a unique shape and we are looking to fit into our unique slots. What determines your shape? Partly genetics, but mainly your life’s experiences. Life is like sitting in an optician’s shop, where you are made to try on different lenses until you find the one that provides you the perfect vision. That is your prescription lens. Similarly, each of us has our own prescription profile. And to extend the metaphor, what are these lenses?

We have the left eye focused on the world of work, profession and achievements. It works only for a third of the day but occupies 120% of your emotional energy! It defines who you are, what you stand for and everything about you – your standard of living etc. We spend the first half of our lives called living ‘the gathering phase’ – in pursuit of various things; and the second called ‘the scattering phase’, where we feel the need to give back. We scatter or give back in various ways – directly and indirectly by social work, donations, teaching, writing, etc. with the aim of impacting some part of society positively. The right eye defines relationships family, friends, siblings, cohorts, communities. The key to success and fulfillment lies in the right eye.
So many of us who do well professionally are inherently unhappy. I have never known a person who has good relationships but is unhappy. People whose right eyes works well, are truly happy and fulfilled. Hence to be happy, we need to focus on what is truly real, as seen through the right eye, as opposed to simply the perception of reality and fulfillment via external pursuits, which is what the left eye presents. And likewise, there are six metaphorical lenses in our eyes – purpose, authenticity, courage, trust, luck and fulfillment. Purpose is what you want to do with your life, it’s a constant search we are all engaged in. If what you do makes you lose yourself in that activity, then that’s your purpose. Authenticity is a misunderstood word, because unlike its stereotypical meaning, it actually means the ability to be unauthentic at chosen and planned times.

So also luck, courage and trust… the net message is that you are the master of your own success, fulfillment and happiness – if only you will adjust your lenses like the optician. Don’t try to find guidelines from the lives of great people. Look around you and see how the everyday person lives his life. Remember that the lives of great people may inspire you, but they don’t instruct you. In life, I finally came to the conclusion that success is also unreal, except for the reality that you perceive of it. Everything is relative. To be able to come to the most obvious thing in an unobvious manner is what is the real purpose of life!