Life is learning to dance in the rain
Rubi Arya
Good afternoon, and thank you for the kind words, Mr. Pranay Vakil. Before I tell my personal story and the challenges that I have faced in the last two years, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Nirav Shah, Mr. Deepak Kapadia and everyone who has made it possible for me to come here and speak before such an august audience. I am not a professional speaker, nor am I a public figure; but, I did not think twice when Mr. Vakil told me that the topic would be: “Challenges make life interesting, overcoming them makes it meaningful”.
My story is about taking on challenges that I never ever imagined I would need to face. I spent almost two decades of my career in the corporate sector —Asian Paints, Kingfisher Airlines and Price Waterhouse Coopers. I have also watched my husband, Ved Prakash Arya, build Milestone Capital, a private equity and real estate firm, from scratch and make it the best in its sector. The sudden vacuum created by his untimely demise left me with two options: sell the business for a huge sum of money or attempt to step into his shoes and wade into unknown waters. I chose the latter, albeit it was not an easy decision. Logic told me to sell out and lead a calm and quiet life with the children. The irrational mind told me otherwise.
So, what was the transition like — from a human resources professional to managing one of India’s largest real estate funds? Let me tell you the things that made the evolution possible.
First, I think we started by understanding what had made Ved successful in business and in life, and although we knew we could not become Ved, we tried to emulate him and be like him. He always believed in the goodness of people around him, trusted them to deliver and empowered and motivated them to achieve the seemingly impossible. In my mind he was one of the few promoters who had managed the art of ensuring that the end goal is reached without being totally absorbed in the process.
His words “think you are and you will be” still echo in my mind. He believed that if we keep life simple, believe in our convictions and work passionately, we can reach for the moon. This is what helped him build and scale up the business in less than four years.
Stepping into his shoes was not easy but I knew somewhere in my heart that looking back was not an option and that we had no choice but to rise to the expectations of our employees, our business partners, our investors, our family and, above all, Ved himself. We had to do this not for ourselves but for those who were associated with Milestone and who believed in Milestone.
Ever since then, the team has been working rigorously on ensuring divestments and has returned good monies to the investors, thereby positioning Milestone in the top quartile of performance in the real estate fund industry.
It is said that there are only two ways to live your life — one, as if nothing is a miracle and two, as though everything is a miracle. This has never been more apt or meaningful for me than now. Life’s experiences never go waste, and, in hindsight, I think that what helped me was the experience of having managed 7,000 employees in Kingfisher Airlines, having graduated from one of the best HR institutes in the country and also being a woman in a predominantly man’s world of real estate. People have been gracious and helpful and it has helped to have supportive in-laws and adorable children who have boldly faced the sudden vacuum created in their lives.
After two years I feel we made the right decision. It was not just my life that had taken a turn, but also lives of those attached to the business. The challenges that loomed before us were like mountains whose peaks were invisible. One of my personal challenges was to leave the children behind at home, especially when they had just lost their father. People at Ved’s office, for whom he was more than an employer, with whom he shared a close rapport and who had never imagined his wife as the leader, had their own set of challenges in accepting me.
The real test of relationships begins when you attempt to pull people out of their comfort zone: it is then that you see resistance and differences in opinion. When you pass that test, things look brighter and achievable. Leading by example, taking on the pain, and taking on each other’s challenges together helped us to move forward as a team, a company and, most importantly, as a family. After all, life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.
I also believe that it is extremely important to focus on goals. This helps in listing challenges and filtering them down to the real and the fictional. With a little effort we can recognise situations that are not really challenging and effectively filter them out. For me, it helped to ask for advice from industry experts. A key approach to smooth sailing, is a focused approach to life and work, without unnecessarily burdening either.
When we took over, there was a host of things that needed attention in a focused manner. For example, it was important to meet our investors, our developer-partners, potential investors, potential developers and so on. It was important for me to quickly increase my practical and theoretical knowledge of the business and the industry because this is not a business I was familiar with. As far as human resources were concerned, my key goals were retention and increasing output. A couple of years have passed since, and I am happy to say that the warmth and camaraderie that was so vibrant in Milestone has remained the same. Even though Ved is not around, I feel his qualities have rubbed off on us in a way that makes us pick our threads right from the word go and surge ahead without fear.
It is overcoming challenges that makes life meaningful. Ms. Arunima Sinha’s scaling of Mount Everest, after having lost a leg in a train accident, and double-amputee Mr. Sudarshan Gautam’s scaling of the same peak a few months ago, are inspiring stories. When I think of all the challenges they must have faced on their journey, mine seem inconsequential. Sachin Tendulkar scoring a century a few days after his father’s demise is also an example of conquest of determination over situation. The darkest period of night is just before dawn and there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Today, I am thankful to God, my late husband and all my colleagues at Milestone Capital Advisors for keeping my practical batteries charged. This has helped me scale my own mountains. Whenever in doubt, I look at the person in the mirror and tell myself that I am not alone in this journey. My reflection is made up of all those who give me the inner strength that keeps me going. I firmly believe that one should hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.
My life is a lot more meaningful now, and when I look at happy faces around me at home and in office, I know that it is time to look at the next challenge to conquer.
A sudden misfortune can be traumatic and it takes a lot to overcome the anguish. But, life has strange ways and one has to believe that there is also something good in store. I know it is very difficult because I have gone through it. But I think one has to trust people, believe in the goodness of people, repose faith in them and take life one day at a time.
Finally, there is no substitute for hard work. There is a period of mourning and there is probably a vacuum that will be there for life. But one has to move on. One has to continue to be thankful to God, thankful to fellow beings and live life.
I end with a very meaningful Martin Luther King quote: In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.
Excerpts from a Q&A session:
Q: Your speech has been very inspiring. Can you identify one goal which has motivated you since childhood?
Rubi Arya: I think that one of the things that kept me going after my husband’s demise was my belief that Milestone is one of his babies. I have always believed that it is his third child, which I now have to raise alone. I had to ensure that his dreams for the company were realised. I think that is what kept me going.
I do not think I have any special trait. However, I am a very hardworking person and, since my childhood, have had a can-do attitude. I have always believed in shooting for the best and achieving it. Hard work, conscientiousness and discipline are some traits that have helped me cope and take life forward.
Q: On a lighter vein I would like you to narrate how you and Vijay Mallya recruited air-hostesses for Kingfisher.
Rubi Arya: Kingfisher was a fabulous experience. I was part of the embryonic team, the fourth employee to join Kingfisher. So I was involved in literally building the organisation — from four to 7,000 employees. There was the entire pace of recruitment and training and fleshing out of a skeletal frame. Kingfisher had no parallel in the Indian sky in terms of product and service quality. It is pretty sad that it has wound up the way it has.
The good part of being the Global HR Head of Kingfisher Airlines was that each of the 2,000-odd cabin crew was handpicked by Dr. Vijay Mallya himself. No Kingfisher Airlines cabin crew could be recruited before having gone through Mallya’s round of interview. Since we had all-female cabin crews, I would have male colleagues vying to be on the interview panel. It was a nice experience meeting 18-years-olds from all over the country, hiring them, training them, ensuring that they provided unparalleled service to the customers.
You do not expect much from 18-year-olds since they have completed standard 12 and are just learning to face the world.
Once, we had a girl hurrying into the room and the chairman asking her what had happened.
She replied, “I was in the excavator.” He said, “Excavator!? Where is that?”
There was some confusion there, since she probably meant escalator or elevator.
We had a lot of such stories. It was good while it lasted. It was a fabulous experience to hire pilots and crew because it is a service-oriented and people-intensive industry. We always hired cabin crew for attitude and trained them for skills. It was the attitude that they brought to the organisation that was important. In hindsight, this is what probably helped the airline in coping with people management issues later.