Emotional Intelligence The Cornerstone of Exceptional Leadership

Last meeting’s talk by Dr. Radhashyam Giridharadas, Adjunct Professor of Strategic Management at the George Washington University, noted management guru and a world authority in Authentic Leadership was one that got everyone in raptures. Going beyond the management jargon of business schools, he helped uncover the essence of the ‘whats’ and ‘whys’ to becoming an exceptional leader.

So what does ‘Authentic Leadership’ really mean? “It’s not magic, it’s a technique; but if you practice your technique, it will seem like magic to your clients”, quoted Rtn Sherebanu Baldiwala in her introduction of Dr. Shyam, who after 25 years of experience in top management at McKinsey & Co. and Prism Consulting International (his own venture), reoriented his professional endeavors towards teaching.

Prof. Shyam set the stage by choosing to be amongst the audience thereby transforming the venue into one of his classrooms. “One of the characteristics of leaders is the ability to be thinking about thinking, while thinking, i.e., to catch yourself in the midst of your thought process and to adjust what you’re saying based on that thought process.”

Saying so, he conducted a small exercise on mindful centering, wherein he asked everyone to close their eyes and while focusing on their breath, turn their mind to a leader whom they admired, and identify one or two characteristics that were exceptional. Thus explaining that while many qualities are a requisite for leaders, but the only factor catapulting them to becoming exceptional is overwhelming emotional intelligence!

Elaborating on it, Prof. Shyam said, “There are many ways in which one can define emotional intelligence, but the one that I found particularly elegant and appealing is to think about it along two dimensions, i.e. a 2×2 matrix, wherein you have self and others on the horizontal axis, and awareness and management on the vertical axis.”

“Those four elements put together will allow you to develop the emotional intelligence to engage with others and to be really effective as a leader. However, the cornerstone and the starting point of developing emotional intelligence is self-awareness. Unless you are aware of who you are, what do you stand for, what are your values, beliefs, priorities and passions are, it will be very difficult for you to be aware of someone else. And if you can’t be aware of others, you will not have the emotional intelligence to really be an effective leader.”

Urging people to discover themselves and becoming self-aware, he said, “What we have found through research is that our life stories form the most compelling source for uncovering who we are. They allow us to know where we came from, what are we passionate about, or what are we willing to risk. And in finding those life stories and reflecting upon them, you come to realize that which you would want to lead authentically by. Every one is unique because of his life/her history. It gives you the courage and legitimacy to be the kind of leader who can have an impact in the world around you.”

“So what does being authentic mean? It means ‘being true to self’. And as a leader when you share these life stories with people who are following you. They get to follow you for the authentic reasons, and not because they are scared of losing their job! They follow you, because the values that you exhibit are the ones that they seem to align with and subscribe to. It doesn’t have to be identical but the connection is what is important. Hence, focusing on self-awareness and using it to guide your authentic journey forward can be particularly powerful”, he confirms. “Our history matters, and when you make time to understand that history, then that becomes the starting point for leading with passion, courage, and a sense of grounding for who you are and what you stand for.”

Continuing further, Dr. Shyam spoke about the importance of self-regulation which involved manifesting one’s experience, beliefs and priorities in the ways in which they communicate. And, in a rather scientific and elaborate manner he explained the significance of self-renewal via the term ‘the Amygdala Hijack’. “When we are subject to stress, our body treats it like a life or death situation. In that moment it does two things: 1) It shuts down all non-essential bodily functions and neural circuits; 2) It releases three things, cortisol steroid and two hormones Epinephrine and Norepinephrine to damage the existing neural tissues, affecting the production of new neural pathways,” he said.

“And when leaders are subjected to stress multiple times in the day, they get something known as power stress. Power stress not only affects our learning, but in the long run, it also affects our immune system, as well as our ability to be well and emotionally in tune with the people around us. And when this happens for an extended period of time, our body gets eaten away from inside! We have all seen leaders like these over a period of time, where at a point of dissonance they start doing things that make you shake your head and say, ‘what were they thinking? How could they possibly throw away what they’ve been doing so far and come away and do something extraordinarily poor in judgment?”

Fortunately, there’s a solution to every problem, and for this one it’s self-renewal. “Each one must find a mechanism for self-renewal, and it certainly cannot be the once-in-six-months vacation! You need to have at least five-six episodes of renewal every week!”

Ending the session in a Zen-like manner, he read a beautiful passage, and reiterated the takeaways of dedicating time for self awareness and renewal in a way that is meaningful and positive, thus making an impact to world around us.