“I never saw a glass ceiling. I only saw the sky.”

Vidya Balan
When actress Vidya Balan was asked what message she would give to young men and women, she said: “There are no rules to success. So, carve your own path — and that will only happen if you’re being true to yourself. There is just one of you, so don’t try to be like anyone else.”

Judging by her talk last Tuesday, she certainly seems to follow her own advice. In a surprisingly candid and engaging conversation with Rtn. Aditya Somani, she discussed her views on body shaming, female stereotypes in the film industry, her family, and even Donald Trump.

Vidya was awarded the Anita Parekh Award for Women’s Empowerment for promoting and supporting the cause of women’s rights in India. As President Dr. Sonya Mehta pointed out in her introduction, Vidya is known as a fine actress (and is the winner of five Filmfare Awards), but is also the recipient of a Padma Shri, the Brand Ambassador for Swachh Bharat, and an avid campaigner for women’s Much of the discussion focused on Vidya’s role as a pioneer for women. When asked about gender stereotypes in the film industry, Vidya admitted that it hadn’t been easy. “I did get exposed to a lot of stereotypes when I entered the industry,” she said, “stereotypes that I wasn’t aware of, because, I think, in my little world, things worked quite differently — and then you step into a world that is a male bastion.”There were women, of course, but they were “largely wallflowers, and with no disrespect meant to anyone, especially at the time when I joined films 11 years ago.”

But she didn’t let that stop her. “I never really let that be an impediment,” she said. Vidya did not have a strategy in mind; she focused on the acting rather than setting out to be a game-changer, “but things began to happen on their own. Even when people said, Never before has a film with a female actor done so well, I said, Well, I just chose to do the film, and the film was loved by people, and it did well — there was no strategy at all.” The shattering of the glass ceiling with which she is credited was, therefore, according to her, completely unintentional.

As Aditya observed, “When you came into the film industry, there was definitely a glass ceiling. It was a very male-dominated film industry, and you shattered it all.” Vidya puts this down to the way she was brought up, as one of two sisters: “We were always told we could do whatever we wanted to do. We had the freedom to choose our professions, to choose the streams we wanted to pursue in college, to sing and dance, and do whatever. So I don’t think I really ever saw that glass ceiling.” She made unusual and non-conservative choices about her roles and films, going with her instinct: “I didn’t bother about whether it would fit in with the image of a Hindi film heroine.”

Her perspective made all the difference. “Whenever I looked up,” Vidya said, “I never saw a glass ceiling. I only saw the sky.” Her resilience not withstanding, the prejudice inherent to the industry often takes the form of body shaming. Aditya pointed out, “But you did face a lot of criticism as well, and you faced it with a lot of strength…. And women in India are constantly being measured, constantly having to answer or prove themselves.”

He highlighted the tendency of people to pick on issues, like dress sense, weight, and complexion, and asked Vidya whether it was difficult to keep fighting back that criticism. Vidya admitted to feeling a “sudden persecution complex” when the criticisms started. The body shaming in particular “is something I’ve never understood,” she said, “and I’ve gone through it. I still go through it but I just turn a deaf ear to it; I don’t hear it anymore.” When someone tells her she’s lost weight, she just smiles, and deliberately doesn’t say thank you. “I tried to shed the weight to get into the clothes that I thought were very fashionable and desirable, and… fashion and I just don’t see eye to eye,” she laughed.

“Finally, the acceptance began to happen, because I realized that I am a certain body type, that I can’t fight it, and I can keep fighting it and keep feeling small in my bigness for the rest of my life, or I can really feel wonderful – and I chose the latter because I realized that I had to be kind to myself if I wanted anyone else to be kind to me.” She believes that much of her confidence is derived from the support of her family.

“Her biggest fan is her father,” Aditya said. “He takes every clipping, every photograph; he files it away. He really, really adores her.” Vidya agreed, “My father is more expressive; he’s more demonstrative. My mother is a little more held in and shy.” According to Vidya, even after 20 films, her mother gets more nervous than she does at the time of a new release. “At the first screening, she always says, I was only looking at you. I didn’t get the story at all; I’ll have to watch the film again. But my father — whatever I do, he likes it. I think, again, that’s like any father-daughter relationship.” Her sister is the balanced one.

“She’s extremely supportive, but also objective, and that I really value. She’ll say it in the gentlest fashion, but she will tell me what sometimes I don’t want to hear.” That family also includes her husband, Siddharth Roy Kapur, who is a famous film producer and the MD and CEO of Disney India. Aditya asked Vidya about the challenges of being a married woman and maintaining a work-life balance: “How does he support you — or doesn’t?” he added mischievously. “Siddharth and I are very similar,” Vidya answered. “We see men and women as equals, as equal partners in a relationship or a marriage. So I think there’s mutual respect for the fact that we’re both very passionate about our work.

There is absolute support.” People often ask how her husband feels about her continuing to act after marriage. “I think he’s someone who’s very free in his heart and his mind, so we don’t have any issues about me working,” she said. “Those are non-issues, actually; they never come up… this is all I’ve always wanted to do, and I knew I’d continue to do it.” According to Vidya, Siddharth, like her mother, gets a bit nervous before her films come out. “I think it’s because he also realizes that as an actor, I put myself out there, and I’m being judged,” she said, “and I think that’s very adorable.”

On the other hand, “I don’t think he’s very objective about me – or maybe he just doesn’t show it. He knows which side his bread is buttered!” she said amidst much laughter. Of course, not all men are like Siddharth. In response to a question from Aditya about what she found to be the worst thing about Indian men, Vidya said, “Maybe that they’re chauvinists deep down, and they don’t want to believe it.” She believes that it is due to our conditioning, and that men want women to be “not subservient, but just maybe a step lower than them, and they want the women to be their mothers; they want the women to be their caretakers, or caregivers.”

Moreover, “They do lech at women… Not in a bad, bad way, but, you know, they all look.” She has an original response to it: “When I’m with Siddharth or with any of my male friends, I look at a hot woman, and say oh my god, isn’t she hot? So before the person can react, I catch the expression!” On the subject of hot women, Aditya noted that PETA had called Vidya the hottest vegetarian alive, and asked if she had any comments on that. “I don’t know that,” Vidya laughed, “but they definitely know better!” Although she is a vegetarian, she also said that she considers the beef ban in Maharashtra very unfair. “I feel everyone should have the right to eat what they want to eat!” she exclaimed. “We can’t be micromanaging things and saying this is what you’ve got to eat, this is what you’ve got to feel, this is what you’ve got to think. I think in a democracy, it’s completely unacceptable.” Vidya has also been the brand ambassador for Swachh Bharat since 2012. “The Dirty Picture had just released,” she said, “and Mr. Jairam Ramesh, who was the Minister, he said, We want you to be the ambassador for the clean picture so that we can do away with the dirty picture.” The offer came at an opportune time: Vidya had recently been on a two and a half hour drive from Benares to a small town in Uttar Pradesh, with no toilets on the way. “We all thought our bladders would burst,” she said. “I just thought it was some sort of calling; that I was meant to do this.” Many warned her that it would tarnish the glitz and glamor of her professional position and reputation. “A lot of people said that it takes away from… the aspirational value that actors have,” she noted, “Do you really want to associate with building toilets? And I said, yes, most definitely.” She’s happy with the progress thus far: “The current government has really put in a lot to make sure this message goes across to people in the smallest of villages and towns, and across the length and breadth of the country… more than anything else, there is a mindset that needs to be changed… and that is where this campaign is really showing results.” Her work, too, takes her across the country. Aditya noted that she is traveling to Jharkhand next week, “and it’s really the middle of nowhere. So it’s really not all that glamor and everything that we see on the celluloid. It is a lot of hard work.” Vidya agreed, adding that because the films she does are usually rooted in the country, there are invariably trying conditions. “I just finished shooting for Kahaani 2,” she said. “We shot it in peak summer. And I’m shooting for this film Begum Jaan, in Jharkhand, where it’s going to be 45 degrees and it’s in the open. So it’s going to be very tough… but there’s an adrenaline rush when you do all this. When you’re inhabiting that world, I think you’re willing to push yourself.” Of course, after all that hard work, if the film doesn’t do well, “it even becomes difficult to listen to the music from that film,” she said in response to a question about her favorite characters. For that reason, Vidya feels most bonded to the characters she played in the films that were successful. She protested, “I almost feel like you’re asking me to choose between my children!” but named Ishqiya, Paa, Parineeta, The Dirty Picture, and Kahaani as her favorites. “They’re all characters that are very, very close to my heart,” she said. However, she also thinks that every character has a little bit of her: “I think only when I identify with some part of that character am I able to assay it.” Vidya is passionate about equality across all lines and divisions, across all communities and races, but “I think, for me, the most important thing is gender equality,” she said. “I think that is an equality that is actually a given, that we shouldn’t have to fight for.” There is a ways to go. “Of course, we’re battling generations of conditioning and patriarchy,” she admitted, “but I think that gender equality has to be fixed, and once that is fixed, a lot of things will fall into place.”